"Hello 3DO, Goodbye Super Nintendo"
From "Tomorrow's Newsletter" (May 20XX)
Farewell, sweet prince. Exclusive news, as big changes are happening on Misto23's stream. Say hello to the 3DO, wave goodbye to the Super Nintendo.
What is the 3DO, you may ask? It's only the console that the Sega Saturn wished it could have been. With classics such as Iron Angel of the Apocalypse, Daedalus Encounter starring 90s babe Tia Carrere and Phoenix 3, which was so good, the first two were completely erased from history, we're in for an absolute treat. Or a car crash. Or both, if you're in to that sort of thing.
A small section of diehard fans are campaigning for the streamer to temporarily change his channel name to "Misto2-3DO" to commemorate the change.
So what is happening to the SNES? It's been banished to the dusty shelf alongside the rogue's gallery of consoles and contraptions long forgotten in the before times. No, I am not talking about the deadly COVID. I am in fact talking about Y2K. It really happened, people! Don't you notice that time seems to have really sped up in the last twenty years?
They say as you get older, time goes by faster, but that is far from the truth! The facts are that the notorious Y2K happened and has destroyed the very fabric of time and space as we know it.
Days are no longer twenty-four hours long, but the shady men that are pulling the strings behind the scenes have made you think they are.
They're all in on it! Computer companies, watch makers, even those alarm clocks you picked up out of a catalogue shop for a couple of bucks. They're all programmed to measure the "new" time rather than the old.
Wake up from your delusional slumber, check around those attics and dig around a car boot sale like Misto at a retro computer shop. If you can find an old watch that's still working, hold it up to your new one, and then... you'll be one step closer to the truth!
Good luck, comrades! And as always, if a shady man in black that looks like Alex Trebek knocks on your door and asks you who told you this, remember and tell them it was Liam.
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